William and Mary’s Instagram asked if they could repost one of the pictures I put up of campus. ….I’m pretty sure I just won College.
Lolz…well that was a complete failure. Oh man gonna go crawl in a hole now. Brb.
Woo. Killin’ it, Christa.
It’s not the vulnerability that we hate. It’s what follows directly afterwards. Authors and poets and public speakers always talk about this notion in such a romantic way, telling us that it’s good to take risks; it’s good to put ourselves out there, not knowing whether we will somehow rise to the occasion or fail dramatically. Well, there’s something that these authors and poets and public speakers have in common. They know how the story ends. They know whether they wrote a novel of triumph or tragedy. They know the outcome of their tale. So when we look deeper, we see that it’s not the vulnerability that we hate. In fact, most of us live for that first second after we take the risk; that second when we find ourselves thinking, “You know…this could really happen for me!” No. We see that it’s that second and third and fourth second that leave us in agony. It’s the wait that kills us. It’s this monologue we sputter off in our brains: One one thousand…I’m sure I’ll be fine…two one thousand….I think this will turn out well for me…three one thousand…oh gosh what have I done…four one thousand…WHERE’S THE ESCAPE BUTTON?!…five one thousand….JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL…and so on and so forth. We find that the more time between our decision to take the risk and the outcome, the longer we lie in anxiety, exposed and naked for all to see. We project that imaginary spotlight upon ourselves and think about the multitude of doubters, laughing at us, wishing for our demise. As a species, we do not have the self-confidence to be vulnerable constantly. In fact, I’m convinced the perpetual strain would kill us.
So why do we do it? Why do we let go of our footing, take that leap of faith, tread into the unknown? Is it sheer stupidity that pushes us over the edge or is it that small chance for victory that pulls us headfirst off the mountain of doubt and lights our way as we stumble down the path to glory? Of this, I am not sure. But what I do know is that life would be rather boring if we dwelt in our mundane existence, refusing to alter our own destinies. If there is even the most minute possibility that we will succeed, it really is up to us to allow ourselves to be pushed or pulled into victory. So what if it’s uncomfortable? No one ever told me that Life would be handing out lemonade. It’s time for us to let go of the virtual hand of Fear that we so dearly clasp. It’s time to go out on a limb and pray the whole way out there that we don’t fall to our societal deaths. In the words of Mrs. Frizzle, it’s time to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy. Maybe this is just our time to shine.
Today is Wednesday, April 9th. It is 7:39 PM. Hello, my name is Christa; and here I am, exposed and naked, laying it all out in the open. It’s time now. These are my 20 seconds of insane courage.